HER 'SAY' behind those smiles...
TIME YOU HEAR ABOUT MY STORY ♥

Thursday, January 31, 2008




my only say...



'' It's like no matter what I do
It's so hard to be myself
But I'm only me when I'm with you

The only me, who I wanna be... ''

i donno why... why suddenly this...
but some times i just need to make a fake smile so nobody would see
that I'm needing everything that have a way of coming easily
when eu take the very best of me -_-

** sorie peeps this entry may sound a bit indirect.
i dont understand why...
but somehow i got this another weird/disturbing feeling
not that i lyke someone else/what.
coz' my heart is only for ONE! that's to my dearest-dearest boyfie (understand)
*hearts eu lot dear. swear.
but it remains on continuing haunting mie no matter how hard i try to avoid it
im feeling so the restless *gosh!
feeling so strange.. suddenly the above poetry just burst from the mind
i cant just avoid it from writing. its lyke controlling this mind of mine
all these while i noe i'm being mie. being the REAL mie who i've always been since secondary school times.
biase lah primary school kn kental2 agi *haha
pretty please-SOMEONE please just brainwash mie...
i dont longer want to be in this 'strange thingy'

***
let for once being myself here. pretty please. stay calm.
the day today is just being so hectic
whats more with all the group werk GM project going on
imagine doing all the werk without teacher guidance just some protocols
and worst everything is being tested from experiment #1 till where we are stopping now *gosh!
so group members and i have to recall back and refer to the previous notes to keep the calculation and methods back to the mind
imagine all practicals is combine to one project and have to start everything from the bottom..
simply had any rest except lunch break always back to the lab to sort and settle thing up *argh!

furthermore, GM test was fine.
what i learnt for the past three days went out
thanks to my dearest boyfie who is always by my side supporting mie
understanding the tough period im going thru' especially studying
strangely, ive never felt myself werking so hard for the whole year except now
the pressure of memorising is being felt and missed talking alone in the room
to test out how many facts that ive remember *haha
now im hoping for the best. as usual did some careless mistake here and there.
human ain't purfect rite? hoping the tyme i sacrifice really pays off. :)

meeting boyfie yesterday really brings to an easy of my mind
at least lyke what he used to say:-
'i should relax once in a while not feeling so tense up for the upcoming test'
he is always there making my day so i need not worry so much
making me smile, huging me feeling secured. i just lurve eu so much dear.
furthermore, im able to tease him too..
so both benefits.. *lala

im totally looking forward for every friday
thats the day where he is always coming over.
lalal :)
totally in cloud nine.


baby, i swear; it's eu.....Y
2:38 PM





Friday, January 25, 2008




HAPPY 4 MONTHS ANNIVERSARY TO MIE!
jump-jump..smile..grin :)


sorie if i ever make eu angry, sad or anything dear.. but deep in mie, im always care and lurve eu whole heartedly..really appreciate all your company and going thru’ thick & thin with you. I know sometimes I may be quite irritating, pinching eu all the tyme and a pain in the ass in all sorts of ways to you (although in a joking way) or what so ever,you name it, I apologise. surprisingly, we seldom fought. everything seems to be in a joking, pampered way. the way eu and i lyke it. hope we lasted long :) hugs... lurve eu lots.

as per usual those lurvely msg during midnight..
this tyme its only within mie..

will meeting eu tonight dear...
there always by ur side...
*lalala :)

(edited-8.45pm)
plus, im so so the happy today.. with great smiles. jump-jump
boyfie picked me up after school... *lala
bought for mie chocolates... he just noe how much i lurve them
*yum-yum.. thanks lots dear. furthermore, its our anniversary.
how sweet of him.. :)

and bout the other thing...
lyke finally the truth is out...
im much smarter than eu.. *lyke duh!
(those who noe what i mean, eu'll understand)
criticise mie somemore..dont think all ite students are stupid alrite..
coz' we are NOT!
now eu are just in the same boat as us.. saying urself i guess..-_-

kay-kay, enuf of the anger moment.. today i shall be happy all day :)
smiles


baby, i swear; it's eu.....Y
4:00 PM






im so eager to update this..
so here's how the week been going...



First and foremost.. O-levels results is out TODAY!
CONGRETS to all my juniors and frens who are pleased with their results
and those who doesn't,dont give up. eu can also achieve your dreams only it will be slightly long journey for us :)

plus i shall say this with proud..
(can't believe i'm saying this)
BLAZE A PATH OF GLORY... *yeahh!
im proud being a swiss student. *grin

congrets to my junior..
BEETSMA DIANA HUSNI ZAMILY!!
for achieving 6 A1s & 1 A2s... :)
as well as being the top sec 5 malay student in Singapore
congrets congrets congrets to eu
wish eu all the best for your future endeavour!

kay-kay... back to what's happening during the week...
(continue)
2nd-ly, MB Practical Assignment last tuesday
damn.. i simply got nothing to comment about it
during practical moments was fine but when its tyme to answering those questions
i just got stuck... all those facts.. darn.
but what's past will remain past.. i just hope for the best
hoping my practical will just push me up. -_-

3rd-ly, AC Practical Assignment today
thank god.. what i've studied came out & those that i didn't, did not *phew!
but i was damn nervous while doing the experiment. did shiver a bit.
only forget to take out the cap when extracting the solution out
so i guess it will be fine. :)

4th-ly, my lyfe
abt my previous post..ignore.
but if it gonna do with facing probs, i think i still prefer to shut up
coz' thats mie. i'm not good in confronting things face to face
not that i dont dare but thats just mie
i rather prefer to just type or write my probs out...

plus im lurving my lyfe in school lots now
there's always big smiles (eu noe what i mean rite guys? *haha)

5th-ly, boyfie check-up(s)
he still had couples of check up(s) that he still need to attend
no matter what i'm always there for eu boyfie
here by ur side.. :hearts:
lurve eu lots boyfie. mwah!





baby, i swear; it's eu.....Y
2:40 PM





Sunday, January 20, 2008



oh mann.when was the last time i update this. last week? ahaa!
my fault. i'm just too lazy. plus those studying periods for class test.
which is basically also consider last minute too. ahaa!
i miss a lot of things here.

Firstly, boyfie check-ups
im getting worried for his health these days
doctor at NUH have suspect smt regarding his health (to certain ppl, eu shuld understand)
but its not purely confirm yet. hope everythings fine. *praying hard.
maybe due to this worrying 'thingy', i'm easily pissed and feeling very annoyed.
i dont understand why but it naturally that way. maybe i just need to control this emotion.

2nd-ly, MB class test
gosh! i think i'm gonna screwed this paper. especially the 2 last pages. *darn!
i should just concentrate more on it then just browsing it thru.
i just couldn't refresh what i've browse.. *damn it lah.
luckily, i've absorb the 1st & 2nd half of lecture notes plus those revision notes
so 1st few pages im kinda safe. *phew!
hopefully the answers were correct and maybe it could at least bring me to a pass level
*hopefully... finger-cross -_-

3rd-ly, lurve lyfe
lurve lyfe was just amazing..
i'm feeling as if i'm in cloud nine or something
the lurve, the sacrifices and everything was just purfect
not forgetting, missing boyfie lots too. as he was staying over at his aunt place for the meantime
looking after 'my babies' (Mira & Amir) as what one of his aunt said since they were lurving their new aunty thats mie. *grin
manage only to just meet him twice this week. and surely glad to meet him yesterday when he came over :)
but it was kinda sweett & touchingg to see him nearly tears but was already sobbing when he was about to leave saying he misses me badly and never misses anyone till this bad until now and only for me.
it's definitely a great, wonderful feeling. but guys will be guys. so i'll just wait and see :) :hearts:
definitely lurving eu lots boyfie..

4th-ly, new baby born
went to Cikgu Zelda hse yesterday after school with Firman & Mazni. as she had just given birth last tuesday.
too bad the baby can't went home due to 'sakit kuning' normal sickness for babies who is just born.
so sad.. we'll pray that he's going to be alrite soon. did i just say he?? haha.
so 3 heroes i guess eu gotten cikgu.. nvm, try again for another, this tyme its a heroin,kay. haha.
guess i just have to see the baby during the hari raye gathering this year. insyallah.
we share stories amoung each other to catch those missing tymes. glad to see her doing fine.

before boyfie arrival, lepak with these great peeps of mine *above-(mazni & firman) around my area till 9.30pm.
had great chats. then accompany mie going KFC for a late dinner for the whole family and went home.

lastly, personal clarification
*emotional tyme-sorrie peeps
Okie maybe I'm just 'ter-rase' in ur blog. but whatever it is, I'm clearing things out with eu here. whether eu are going to read it or not.
to eu..
eu may thought that im angry with eu or something but actually im NOT. I just need to make changes for myself.
1st-ly, we are always late for classes and I can't stand of losing lots of facts and struggling at the back while others are already forward. so im making the effort to come early with other peeps/cliques but im still not forgetting eu- everyday without hesitation, im always there sms-ing eu when im going out and meet eu as usual but eu are the one asking me to proceed on since eu are going to be late. Okie im fine with that but remember our resolution this year. *(we wont be late for school anymore...) yet eu said 'i left eu.' *wtf. eu may think im selfish coz I'm doing for my own benefits. but I have too, I don't want to get warning letter before examination and really wanting to score well. My results is the key to bring me to another level. im no longer keen of coming late for classes. studying 1/2 of lecture is really not worth it. it's better off not coming for lesson at all
2nd-ly, I just had enuf with ur lies. I noe eu well enuf. eu are the one that used to be there when everything happens.thnks.apprecaite it. bt bcoz' of this reason too, I some how not wanting to talk to eu about my personal lyfe to eu in details or just in slight brief. did eu ever notice that? im talking to eu everything just in general. just bcoz' of the incident of telling the truth to someone, eu lied about someone fetching eu just bcoz' ey are frighten that I would tell the other someone. come on lah, I already noe it, even if eu don't tell. yet I'm keeping shuts except last 2 days when that someone wanted to noe what's going on. then what? this tyme taking revenge when im close with this particular someone. reporting all those info(s). expecting to cause chaos within mie. stop it. doesn't mean I'm keeping shut I don't noe whats going on. Furthermore, WE never fight. even himself noes what's going on.. im telling every details of what's happening about mie in school everytime. And he even clarify to that someone about it plus we noe our limits. every thing was in a joking atmosphere. Get it! eu don't even get the whole picture. Plus for ur info, the other someone got a gf already. plus at least we are doing this infront of everyone. not lyke eu lying behind our back. Not forgetting, ur 'tknk kalah' attitude too. this is lyfe. what people have may not be what eu NEED to have.
him & mie had just enuf of it & everything.
to eu-eu..
don't ever think eu are not appreciated by me/ not even good enuf for me. or even thinking they are the one pulling me to the another direction.
I appreciate it lots whenever im with eu guys. only that im just more comfortable with them and it's also my choice.only for the mean tyme im hafing 'enuf feeling' with eu. kay,NOT saying that im not comfortable with eu guys. but sometimes there's just this barrier of 'only urs private talking thingy' going on where the other cliques doesn't have. both grps still have laughter & enjoyment in it.and i'm lurving at both sides. Personal Talking, I really have no probs with eu-eu guys. why not sometime, eu guys just hang out with us in school. they are not as bad as what eu people might think. im sorie if eu guys felt that way. I really do. I myself at first don't noe how to separate myself. if I just have the ability to cut myself into two, I might think of doing it too. sorrie.

**i cried when i wrote this.. :(
PS: sorrie peeps, this last entry may sound draggy about my personal 'thingy'.
but i guess its the only way so its doesn't bottle up in this heart of mine.

not forgetting HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRO-HUZ. :)


baby, i swear; it's eu.....Y
10:40 AM





Sunday, January 13, 2008



I noe its been a while since I've last update
basically I'm just busy with some stuff and lazy to log in
plus school has just started. so here is just a brief on what's happening in my wonderful lyfe :)
*mwah.


first and foremost, I did enjoy my last day of holidays
that will be on the
Sunday (060108)
went double dating with my Gfbestie (Mazni) & cuzzie (Firman) & dearest boyfie










all of us catch a movie at Lido Theater and sure we had great fun.
boyfie laugh not stop silently (wanted to maintain macho) so as the other couple beside us couldn't hear his laughter
surprisingly, both couples so have chemistry bonding with each other
so there are sure lots of happening stuff going on
back to the activity...
then according to plan, we should be playing pool next at lucky plaza but unfortunately, it's packed
so off with plan B, bowling at marina square.
but it's packed too. but still put our names on the waiting list and waited for our names to be called.
went for our dessert first and had great talks while waiting
then to kill boredom, played pool across bowling alley
but within 10mins of playing the bowling customer service called
*sian
cancel the pool playing. only need to pay couple of cents. *phew..
and the real game start. Played 2 games each and I'm glad to announce-'I'm the champion for both games' *lalala followed my Firman, Mazni and boyfie...









boyfie played shyly. doesn't want to concentrate. *hmph!
after playing, off for a bit of shopping..
bought myself- Adidas perfume, gurls stuff, Billabong bag...










the day was just flawless... :hearts:

2ndly. first day of school (070108) went purfect.
manage to see all my misses classmates especially those besties.
*eu noe who eu are..
I really miss eu people. glad to meet eu people back. Hugs..
Sorry to those groups who I seems to left eu people out..
the other cliques seems to want me that day..
I'll join eu people soon alrite
at the same tyme, got to meet up my dearest year 1 jan intake fwens
meet them up during lunch and had a while chat

next, CCA orientation too went smooth
received a duty for my particular cca so have an excuse for not coming to class *haha
and damn there's this irritating guy who purposely irritates me everywhere
asking where's toilet, where's school gate etc.. and at the same tyme trying to 'hit' me back
*argh! was pretty annoyed but that sure brings up a smile.
thanks to Huda saying that he was attracted to me.
*ergh..no thanks
thanks to her too saying I'm famous to MR Oliver and MR Oliver too crack a joke bout putting a poster of me to attract those student..
oh gosh! where am I to go to hide this face... shy-shy..
nvm Huda.. that day was just ur day.. *hmph!
** School was just per normal…

3rdly. out today with boyfie was cool...
went to my ‘aka babies’ place aka boyfie aunt
meet up those cute, adorable kids
it's been a while since I last met them
Mira is learning to talk.. and Amir looks older
am a bit shy to meet them (include boyfie aunts and uncle)
but after a while, there's sure chemistry..
around 7pm bring Mira along downstairs to buy some stuff
boyfie said 'we really looked lyke mom & daughter' coz' our face look slightly alike.
(ignoring those makciks & pakciks looking.. *argh!)
back home then boyfie feed Mira..
while I caught some of these pics.. plus some others.
look at them.awwhh..












back around 9.30pm
**boyfie coming over tonight. Smile :)
:heart,hugs: lurve eu lots dear.


baby, i swear; it's eu.....Y
3:45 PM





Saturday, January 05, 2008



im lurving the beginning of my 2008...
(except the part when i'm sick *argh!)



firstly, friends.
i'm lurving the FRIENDSHIP that we built during those secondary moments.. every word of what we used to say of 'promising staying together regardless of anything' was just so true. eu people are just my TRUE friends..

bestiedear:WeiYang- eu show those care & concern, giving courage & support as well as noe-ing me to a particular extend. even we went different ways for a moment, we are till strongly contact.
bestie-bestie:Syafiq- eu are the only one that noes me who I really am (both physically & emotionally). even how far we are & become silence for a particular moment,we are still strong as usual.
darlinkGFdear:Mazni- eu are the one that's always being there for me. thanks dear. our friendship will never ends no matter how far we are apart or how old we may get :)
** plus..not forgetting the 'ngoms..' i miss you people lah..
NOTHING IS EVER DIFFERENT FROM THE FRIENDSHIP WE HAD DURING SEC SCHOOL AND NOW!
lurving eu guys. glad that i've been meeting eu currently or up-coming date :)
while others of my besties who are not from the same sec sch. dont worry eu r still on my mind no matter what happens. our friendship remains strong.
bestie:Anis- here my dearest pri sch bestie. even we are in different school and contact hours but we keep on contacting once in a while to catch up those moments.
bestie:Fadhli- we'll always contacting each other once in a blue moon. but still the old atmosphere is always there.
bestie:Akil- used to 'kamcing' lots but smt happens and amazingly we are still friends. and sure i'll always remember eu.
bestie-bestiecum everything:Alif- i've always treated eu lyke my bro. even at some points things just doesnt seems rite but eu always be the best in mie. i'll keep our friendship tight. :)
hoping that this circle of friendship will broaden even more during this ite journey although i've seen some of the potentials ones. eu noe who eu are. so i'm keeping shut for now and see how it goes on later. *grin

secondly, lurve lyfe.
with this new year- boyfie & mie building a better foundation for our relationship to stay strong(as now)
there's sure lots improvements. show of affections, care, lurve, concern etc.
every time we end up meeting together will sure bring back GREAT memories
lyke we are trap in our own world or something
and maybe because of this our lurve grow and make ourselves become stronger
i love eu dear. love eu lots.

thirdly, my werk pay.
been werking for only 2 weeks during the holidays since that is the only period of holiday i've have
to be exact-13 days with only 1 day off which is christmas day...
and guess what?!! i've received 400 bucks
imagine 13 days,400 bucks. what more could i expect. yahoo!!
boyfie was really proud of mie. i'll treat eu smt,kay for all those accompany. lurve eu boyfie.
thanks for the support and everything.

forthly, lyfe.
so this is what happen today during cca meeting
really had great fun plus, not forgetting those tiring moments too
(eu noe what i mean ya cca peeps.. *haha)
but there's sure lots of bonds between the member now
and i'm really lurving where i stand.
there's sure lots of laughter, jokes etc...
at least i've felt even more belonged :)
thanks people.

school will be opening soon this coming monday
so BYE holidays and WELCOME back hardwerk aka pressure
luckily, it starts at 9am. so need not wake up so the early. *haha
evenso, im so enthu' for coming back to school *lalaa
coz' its already ending of year one and coming to year two
that means we have the advantage to bully the new intake. *muahaha-evil mie :P

PS:im lurving my night yesterday... its only within me.only mie. shh..
im feeling so the eager to write everything but i rather not.
for those who are there, thanks.
and i'll sure remember those things that eu people said
thanks lots for everything, it was really really a memoriable night. :)


baby, i swear; it's eu.....Y
2:40 PM





Wednesday, January 02, 2008



Argh!!! i just HATE this...
HATE THIS... HATE THIS... HATE THIS...
i HATE MYSELF FOR BEING SICK!!!!
arrgh!! *pull hair...


guess what peeps i'm sick * darn!
down with fever, flu and sore throat...
imagine all three viruses in one go..
it's just making mie go nuts
thanks to all those 'owl' lifestyle
due to not hafing enuf rest... *argh!
i should have known...


as usual went home from werk with boyfie today
he is so the worried coz' i'll be werking again tomorrow
he asked mie to take leave but i insist on wanting to werk
coz' i'm only left with 2 days before i stop. so why waste it..
plus, tomorrow i'll only be werking at jurong & its not far away from his house anyway...
after minutes thinking & pleading, boyfie said 'okie'. *thank god.
(lucky he forgotten bout the medicine thingy- eu peeps should noe how much i hated it. *yucks!)
but he will be picking me up (as usual) & if there anything i must tell his straight away
alright dear.. i noe. i noe. dont be so the worry-lah. i'll be fine (although i didn't eat my medicine,kay)
it will just cure slowly...
i noe lah eu lurve me effing much.. but i will be fine. :) no worries,kay.

till here then.. boyfie nagging asking me to rest.. nytez.


baby, i swear; it's eu.....Y
3:42 PM





Tuesday, January 01, 2008



5.. 4.. 3.. 2.. 1.... ka-boom...
(i count this together with countdown 2008 at channel 5,kay)
Yeah.. HAPPY NEW YEAR People..
NEW YEAR HERE…
and as usual with every new year comes with a resolution...
so here's mine :-
1. promise to come early for every lesson & no more 'porn-ing' classes
(2nd year- very important... *anna join me alrite :) )
2. pass my end year of 1st year examination with at least a B grade
(even I noe I wanted an A grade badly... but I must also noe where's my line rite? *haha)
3. hoping my relationship with boyfie will last long… :hearts:
(sorrie dear if there are tymes that I make u mad or etc, plz forgive me coz I heart eu lots)
4. having a good relationship with my dearest besties as well as dearest GFs
(Saiful Fitri, Syafiq, Wei Yang, Alif, Mazni, Nana, Eila, Huda- ILY peeps till the end.thanks for always being there *hugs,mwah)
5. Peace No War..


okie-okie.. enuf-enuf of these resolution thingy. let get back to what's happening lately.
1st , werk. werk had been fun cashiering all those 'ka-ching-$$$'
*haha.
basically just simply normal. every day routine is lyke from 1pm to 9pm. boredom due to werking alone.

but thanks to boyfie all those worry is gone. boyfie been accompanying me at werk every day as well as helping me too...
he either come in the later afternoon or same tyming with mie. thanks lots dear. heart eu lots.. mwaah..











2nd ,lyfe. Lyfe has been rewking my world. lurving it to the max.. *muahhaha.
and what's interesting is that I think I'm becoming more lyke an owl now..
staying up till late nights and back to werk the next day. interesting huh? all coz' of werking. lyke duh?!
as well as having boyfie to come over some nights. being in those arms of his in the cold cozy night. *just heaven-haha
it may sound strange coz' I noe boyfie have been accompanying mie at werk then meet up again at night.
*haha. but it so damn true. even so but I'm lurving it lots too.. :) heart eu lots boyfie


but what's shocking mie most was when boyfie mama & papa talks about our engagement during one of those days after he have sent me home. boyfie was damn shock & called me straight away after hearing all those bla-bla-bla... then I was going lyke huh? we are only together for 3mth and there's this. But mama & papa got say after his NS & my study too ar. not right away. totally euh-euh.. we are only 18 lyke duh. there's still long way of journey. where's hisNS?, where's my studies? where's werking? where's feeding our parents 1st? it was totally shocking. boyfie said that mama & papa kinda lyke mie and treated mie as one of the family already. Plus, noe what?! mama even cooked for me lunch when I've forgotten to bring my lunch while werking. how swit. Thanks mama.

3rd, meeting up sessions. meet up with dearest bestie, Wei Yang lately since he just pass his bike license.
*eu fullfill ur promise how sweet...
meet hym up after werk and we went riding. yeah. thanks boyfie for allowing.
picked me up under my block. lil' brother kpo to meet him too. its been ages since they saw each other *haha
then went to woodlands to chill and have our late supper then back home...
really enjoy. its been ages since we catch some tymes too..
maybe meeting again on the 3rd but its yet to be confirm. and noe what he look better now.
with that adorable hairstyle. lurving it lots lah. glad to see there's still laughter in us.
lurving ur bike too.. its so the red and so do the helmet. *haha
see eu really soon alrite.. :)











Taking care peeps and happy new year once again.


baby, i swear; it's eu.....Y
4:00 PM