HER 'SAY' behind those smiles...

TIME YOU HEAR ABOUT MY STORY ♥

Monday, July 28, 2008

this is when boredom strike..

nothing yet to update.. enjoy the photos taken for last week..

(babydear & mie photos @ school, my photos during family outing last weekend)

ignore those saying on sunday added entries. it's just mie and my assumption.

those inner feelings that is just controling me during those moments. -.-

baby, i swear; it's eu.....Y
8:00 PM

Saturday, July 26, 2008

my weekend is futile. i did nothing worthwhile this weekend. just those misses. tell me about it. -.-

i spent the saturday rotting at home again. gaaaahs. i guess i'm becoming more of a homely girl every saturday. babydear sure will be liking it when he read this.(i guess?) haha. since babydear wil be busy with his band. yea, bandd. but i understand. at least i have him for the whole weekdays at school and if i'm lucky Sunday. haha. even so, i still misses him lyke hell. i can't even describe how much i do miss him now. it is just so indescribable. i kept thinking of him every single minute, wanting to hear his voice, hoping he will be there by my side with his warmth, smiles. just misses everything. :) ily baby.

(added paragraph)
my sunday seemed to be much better than yesterday. at least i'm out with my dearest family. not just being stuck at home. haha. thanks daddy for the outing. there's sure lots of family bonding there. the laugh, smiles, comments etc. just purfect.
on the other hand, i guess im stuck with the situation again. gosh! i just thought it would just be fine. but somehow, it just kept bothering me today. everytime when i want to let my mind lose thinking about it, it kept coming. i've tried thinking positive, thinking eveything would be fine but i simply can't. you don't know how i really felt here when you are suddenly so different towards me. i just felt so worried. so insecure. so argh!! wtf. i just hate to feel this way. i just hate those silents. okay, fair enuf, maybe you are busy or tired with stuffs. but usually you will inform me. you would at least message/call me despite all that busyness you are facing. it was totally fine during the day but after the last call.. it's just so different. i suddenly felt so alone.

'i've always been the one who is impatient when it comes to trival matters.

but where matter of heart is concern.

i've always been the last one standing.

and that's when i realise i'm at the loosing end.'

school was uhm, i don't know. the thing is i can't seem to muster up any enthusiasm for my studies and I desperately need to. everything seems to be always last minute. miraculously, i think, friday's Biochemical techniques(BCT) practical test was manageable although i do think i did it pretty well. but oh well, who knows.

and ooh.. while waiting for my batch turn to for the practical test, did had our breakfast cum lunch at Noddes(whatever it's spelt like) with babydear, Ghazali and Suritno as well as doing some revision along with it. and along the way, throughout the day, i did get babydear pissed somehow. i noe i should not react that way. i wish i could just re-do whatever mistakes i've done and make it up to it instead? i regret doing that to you, making you feel that way. coz’ i never meant to do so. sorry baby. :( like you have always known, i'm always loving you sayang. no doubts.

anyway thursday after school, babydear and me watched Dark Knight at AMK Hub. supposingly everything should end at 2.00pm after the whatever seminar we have to be attending. the seminar was partly alrite-lah. sending the message to stop smoking. Fiona Xie was the guest for the day. manage to see her perform, Taufik's was the day before. didn't manage to see him perform but do met him along the way to lunch. darlingSasha and me went 'gugugaga' see-ing him. haha. normal lah fans katekn.. bluekz. but babydear seems slightly different. sorry baby. but then the time was dragged to nearly 3pm when actually we could have gone off. can't blame anyone, we went in the flow. shocked to see my ex-boyfie at Simei. wanting to give those stuff to babydear. but in the 1st place, he didn't make any appointments on the particular day. wonder how he knows our whereabouts. whatever-lah i don't seems cared. what's important is the person who is in my life now. love you lots baby. catched the movie at 4.20pm. the show was absolutely interesting. everyone should watched it. it worth every single cents thats being spent. just love those time spent with my beloved darling baby. mwah! (you know,i know alrite.keke.)

life's been less worried. and im happy with it.

thanks to my babydear who has never fail to make me smile. :)

(added) but i guess, im back to worried again. thanks to my Sunday. -.- ptff..

test and more test coming up. stress stress!!!

baby, i swear; it's eu.....Y
9:30 PM

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

As naked as it might seem to the eyes, we do experience something new each day. Given the ability to reflect on everything that happens today before tomorrow comes, it makes me realise that in a way or another, new things or people do come by in our everyday lives and for that, I really wonder if I have actually made the best of what yesterday had brought me and am I able to make the best of what today will bring and better for what tomorrow might bring? It purely is a random thought but don't you think if one can really sort that out, it would bridge thy sensibleness to a whole new level? Say, at least we learn to appreciate the littlest things in life and not take any for granted, yes?

as written in previous whining post, something happened. finally let go of the feeling that's bottled up inside me. even though actually i find it hard to say. but like i said above, we must learn to appreciate the littlest things in life. so i need to trust myself that everything will go fine and upon his words and promises i shall believe it. whatever comes later i can't be bothered to think of anything. or maybe i should? i just want to enjoy my life now. i can't simply keep lying to myself that i don't love/ need you. i want to be happy with what i have than what i really want. maybe its just not the right time to get everything now. that doesn't mean i don't want it in future. but for now, maybe yeah! coz' things do happen around us. we see struggles, we see unperfectness, we see quarrels and at times battles. yet at the end of the day they're back as normal. that's how relationship should be. jealousy, sensitivity, freedom to breathe, temptations, attitudes are all the common bullets that shoot the heart to "death". that's what will make bonds together. (rite baby?)

then i've decided.. eventhough at first,i didn't want too but finally i've made up my mind to make my blog permanently private. sorie readers if it's troubling you. i've got my own reasons to it. on the second thought, maybe i will unprivate it next year. (still pending) at least it's better than shifting my blog to another place which i need to start everything anew and you guys need to relink me 'again' or even deleting it. gosh! deleting it?? i will never think about it. i dont think i'll ever have enough courage to delete it. i basically grew up here. yes, i changed url a couple of times but i will never delete it. this site means sooo much to me. reading old entries can just make me smile like an imbecile alone. those secondary school tymes, those ups and down in lyfe that i've gone through, those crazy and childish moments.. i can just laugh my ass out. haha. those ol' times. plus, this is the only place where i could just whine and let my hearts out from A to Z without thinking. its just ptff! one whole junk. to me, writting it out is just much easier than saying.

at the end of the day, i came across this while surfing:

'Love is a GAME and You are the PLAYER.im sure you don't want to be a LOSER. that's why you need STRATEGIES and TACTICS to go about playing ur game. without proper strategies and tactics, ur simply a loser at the end of the game. Identify your ENERMIES in disguise. for which ur enermies is the people around you. could be anybody. Use appropriate WEAPONS to attack. for which ur weapon is your values. not your looks. Eventually to win the game is all about using appropriate tactics and attacking ur enermies with the appropriate weapons.'

not forgetting, i did this on behalf for myself and baby. i just need a minute of silents. it's been already 2 years since baby's bro past away. SAIFUL AIDIL BIN AMIN. baby and mama sure have gone through a rough journey. im sure baby is missing him now but you must be strong alrite baby. i'm always here. you know it. sorie, i can't be there together with your family at the graveyard. but i'll definately say some prayers on my behalf. silents.

(btw, my mom sent her regards)

P.S: school has just been as usual. but with babydear around, im lurving it. sayang kamu babydear. mwah!

baby, i swear; it's eu.....Y
5:40 PM

Saturday, July 19, 2008

after all those whines and being at my lowest point for the moments... i've decided to spent the saturday rotting at home. gaaaahs. initial plan before weekends was to head out with babydear but he had to go school for band practice and handle some band stuff. yes, bandddd. haha. so we've to cancel it. no probs. i totally understand. next, the first backup plan after all those tears, that's on my mind was to head out with gfs coz' they are the ones who know to bring up the smile and laughter and forget whatever i've gone thru which i didn't too. no one there's to accompany me out. plus after awhile i wasnt really in the mood to head out, you see. just wanna be alone with my 'panda-lebam' eyes. panda- its been there since school re-open, 'lebam'- thanks to those tears. so im just home. being a good gurl i guess. plus, babydear didn't want me to wonder around alone. or babydear will be worried about me.(lyke he always said) :P

thanks to my comp which spent most of it tyme with me today. sayang-sayang kamu,comp. it erase all those boredom being at home. watching korean shows, reading people's blog, blogging (this is what i spent most tyme doing) and listening to music etc. plus not forgetting the hindustan show at vasantham central title: 'Mr Ya Miss' which makes me and mom laugh lyke hell at home. what a funny show. haha. it really makes my mind at ease. concentrating on the show. haha. laugh-laugh-laugh..

other than that, i dont noe why i'm don't feel lyke eating lately. especially today, so far, only a meal and my yummy cheesecake bought by mummy. haha. oops. i'll be dead if babydear noes about it. shh!! alrite everyone. i just don't feel hungry. i think i got the change of appetite since i've got menses last two days. thanks to all those cramps. i just wish it will be over soon. hurry.

talking to babydear for awhile during his break at least make myself better. it just brings me back to my usual self on the ground.

baby, i swear; it's eu.....Y
8:00 PM

(sorry peeps its just my whines)

life is just like an actor playing its role. everyday is a new chapter happening to us. either happy, sad, excited,or boring. some chapters are just difficult to explain while others come naturally. maybe some matters are to be told and others are kept within ourselves. but how long can we keep these secrets, sooner or later we will kinda find it all out. lyke now im getting to know something new. lyke *ewuulalaa.. thanks to the effort im putting in. it worth knowing. those who know about it and kept within urself. great uh. you guys are just great promise keeper. i wish you guys would just be frank to mie. at least i noe what is happening. but i can't be blaming eu guys. people had trust on you, why break it rite? now im wondering what's more has you guys and eu hide behind me... maybe i should just follow up with my instinct. i have doubts in everything im facing now. I'M CONFUSE??? i may look as if put up a 'fine' looking upfront but deep in me lays a thousand and one question that need to be answer in this mind. i don't know when the right tyme to approach, how i'm going to present those qustion, will the after ending makes us turn into a different person towards each other?? argh! everything is taken note. i didn't want those bonds, laughter, smiles we shared go to waste. all those ITE experience this two years that we've gone thru.. it's coming to the end soon, i really want to treasure it. want it to make a great memories. i guess now then i noe, who are those of my real friends and those who are just pretending. even without saying, now the true colours are revealing. maybe it's just my judgements but you truely know who you are. you noe yourself better.

to you- it hurts lots to see you lie. or maybe double-facing. thanks uh. im really speechless about it. i've not confirm if this is just a rumour or facts. i still need to have to find a certain tyme to talk things out with you. but for this moments of time, let me just whine things out. at least this heart won't feel too much burden. i just don't know who to believe or what to trust. at one point of tyme its about only me, and another its about someone else. im clueless. infront of me, eu kept portraying im the one. behind? to your close friends? im wondering? i've been reading up, been listening, been doing everything that i can to keep on thinking the postive. but now, i think-i think i can no longer handle it. my thoughts are really really really in a big mess now. im totally confuse. thats why i say i need the tyme to chill out and be alone. if not totally alone at least with someone who could make me smile and make my day to forget all this faults that i'm facing/ thinking. at least i won't be spending my saturday thinking this shit! don't you think i had enuf. i kept wondering does all this tears worth? are you doing this just becoz' you dont want to hurt someone heart? i've told you once. if you are just pitying, then drop it off. i don't need it. it will slowly cure on its own. it will surely take a longer dozen lots of time and i'll go thru lots of hardship but at least im just facing it through once. ONCE! i can't afford myself going thru it again. if you ask what i would wish for? i think i would just wish myself being killed so i do not need to face all this. but i noe that it won't happen. so im keeping myself strong. eventhough being strong is my biggest weakness. i realise that. and if its true, you didn't have to do this to me. it does ends up to the same thing. i will still be hurt. its either now or later. im not blaming eu. i just wanted to shout, cry things out so that at least i'll feel at ease. haiz. writting this also can cry. i just want to know the whole thing. WHOLE THING and the TRUTH. nothing behind the scene. so im not stuck at lost, at this dark world of mine. everything you say means alot to me, those promises you make, those sweet talkings. you noe, you mean everything to mie now. i just don't want to be crushed again, don't want to lose what i have now. that's for sure. ookkie, you always asked me to be patience. i understand the situation. but till when? haiz. i just don't want to feel next, you are taking my patience for granted. just becoz' i keep shuts and understand, doesn't mean its okie. i just want my mind at peace. coz' peace will be on the way saving us and lead to a greater path. insyallah

baby, i swear; it's eu.....Y
3:30 PM

Thursday, July 17, 2008

"Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired"

sometimes, i just take every thing too lightly as if you're joking eventhough i noe you're not joking at all. even when we are talking seriously, i'll end up making myself looking as if im a nuisance or something. i did it just because i had doubts to my own feeling. im just afraid to lose whatever i had now. i haven't had this kind of feeling since so long. like finally felt so calm, secured etc. i may put up a brave front, or act like all of that don't even matter to me one bit. but the truth is, every single bit matters. although i truly understand the situation but i can't actually deny my feelings. so i guess i'll just smile and listen because at the same time, i didn't want you to worry. thinking again, whenever i answer you that 'lightly' way is the very frank answer on how i really felt. if you know what i meant although it would sound abit too harsh. sorie huns. i really don't know what i should answer you. maybe is not about what but how i should answer. and that explains the expression and reaction of my behaviour. sometimes there's just lots of things playing in my mind, i wish i could just talk openly to you but when i've build enough courage, i just don't know where to start or what should i be saying. the words just start to stumble onto one another and decided to just keep myself shuts coz' i thought i could just handle it ALONE although i know deep in myself, i'm not capable too. tears will just kept rolling down whenever it suddenly cross over the mind. i just couldn't bring myself to understand the inner me. the problem is, i care about you more than just that. it has always been you and no one else.

looking back, there seems so much that has changed. thanks to you. back then, i always have you to dote on me. your hugs, kisses and warmth never fail to assure me that everything is alright. and i find myself coming back for more whenever i needed those. nothing brought us down cause at the end of the day you're always there for me and vice versa. we've been there we've done that. and i assure you that im still here as long as you want me to. no matter how hard i tried, i can never turn my back on you. you've always been such a sweetheart and i can never deny that. ily baby.hugs.

baby, i swear; it's eu.....Y
11:00 PM

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

BIRTHDAY UPDATES!!

Birthday falls on 12July,Saturday.. celebrate with family and babydear on the Friday. *lalalaa. Really had a memorable tyme with my dearest babydear. Thanks babydear for everything. Those lovely lots prezzie that eu bought specially for mie, wear for mie the special prezzie; a necklace (awh! felt really special and romantic), those smile eu make on that special day, the hugs and kisses, the night sacrifices where eu need to wake up, wish me HAPPY BIRTHDAY exactly at 12midnite despite all those tiredness eu've gone thru and lots etc. *haha. heart eu sweets.
really speechless to describe how i really enjoy my special day with those above. just out of words. lurve eu lots.

next day, 12july... THE REAL DAY
celebrate it with my dearest buddies. gosh! eu guys just rewkz the day. unfortunately, babydear can't join since he needs to rehearse for competition the next day. but its alrite, he had already celebrate it with mie yesterday. evenso, i still wish, if he was there it wil be better. :P kay,i'll stop whine-ing and continue with the great-great day.. meet each other up at yeo chu kang. imagine! how far i need to go to meet them. hmph! then proceed to P.S for our lunch. they celebrate it at SECRET RECIPE! order lots of food and bully me to eat. *haha. but its kinda pampered thinking it back. since they were paying for it and its free.. *lalalaa. so just eat. heard they planned for a movie treat. okie, i thought its still at P.S but it isn't. they brought me all the way to MARINA SQUARE just to watch a movie. watched HELLBOY! and noe what?! after all those lunch, they still treat the movie with popcorns and specially ice-cream for mie. *haha. since im the b'day gurl.oh well! *haha. after movie ends, went to Kallang next to watch soccer. of all the places lyke duh! i got bullied on the way to the 'cage' where we are suppose to be going. took cab there, but before we reached,i must be blindfold. pesky! make me lyke one fool. haha. imagine! going here and there. gosh! i update my babydear every where i went so i guess whenever i change location.. lots of question must be in babydear mind. wondering where they will be bringing me. rite babydear? *haha.
after watching their beloved bf playing and some of my known friends.. the real celebration starts. the whole members sang 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY' song for mie. i could just blush myself there. then the cake came, chats a while before went separate ways. didn't want my babydear to be worried about my wonder-abouts. evenso, he did called me when i'm otw home in the bus. kesian my baby worried.:(

prezzie that i've gotten so far:-

braclet & ear ring- frm mummy
perfume- frm 2nd bro
kisses- frm my younger siblings
perlini's silver necklace, famous amos message cookie, toblerone choc, facewash- frm babydear
cupcakes- frm cuzzie
dove choc- frm huda
those treats- frm dearest buddies

(the cake, all the gifts, babydear whole gift, mummy gift, cuzzie cupcake)

(individual gift)

next day.. 13july BABYDEAR COMPETION

did wish babydear all the best for the competition. babydear sacrifices lots of his tyme to this competition. till he had lack of sleep and rest. really worried about babydear's health even babydear said he will be fine. but its normal conscious to feel worried. i want him to be fine and healthy. :):)despite all the hardwerk, everything pays off. they manage to obtain a SILVER although they would get the chance to get GOLD if they obtain another 0.3points. imagine just 0.3 points... baby,no grudges alrite. your team have done ur very best. most importantly EU! eu have done so much for the band. feel happy about it. its even in open category.. lots of challanges there. sorie that i'm not there to watch eu play but as eu always noe, im always here in eu no matter what. next performaces i'll go alrite :)

yesterday.. 14july
had BCT class test. gosh! i just wish i could rewine those tyme. my brain just got block during the test, i got mix-up with all the informations etc.. *argh! i can't believe i just go thru that. BLANK! couldn't be any worst. i guess,i couldn't expect much for this class test. pray hard i get thru it. besides, baby didn't go school today. feeling unwell and sick. pity my sayang. BUT I MISS BABY SO SO SO MUCH!! the feeling is just so... indescribable.. after the class test and prac lesson.. 'porn' afternoon prac lesson to meet baby. accompany baby to polyclinic for MC and medicine. hope eu cure soon alrite :) i'll take good care of eu. *haha. then to the library to chill and see him study. buly him a bit. *haha. evil me. catch up with today, what i've done in school etc.. accidentally bumped onto Umar and Sasha. had chats before went to different ways. lurve eu.

baby, i swear; it's eu.....Y
10:30 PM

Saturday, July 12, 2008

the clock has strike mid-night...

SO HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MIE!!!!

(details i'll post it a.s.a.p)

baby, i swear; it's eu.....Y
12:00 AM

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

as guessed.. i noe the tagboard will get spam soon.. its always either now or later. and there it is. proven. ptfff.... but i still don't get it why spam? i mean lyke if eu really have a problem with someone why do eu have to go to an extent of going on to the person's blog and tag her. lyke, eu could just open up your mouth and just TALK! i noe eu have been reading all this while. eu've gotten my number. so?? im not mad or totallie pissed... but im just writting the fact. im writting this cool-ly. relax. no grudge. maybe after reading this eu would call, but sorie pp8 low for now. but i could always call back if eu want. mostly at home. just sent me a text and i will call. nothing so difficult about it. to those other friends whom i don't noe,whoever eu are lah eh.. i noe its natural to side your own friend. i got nothing to against about it. but i only ask one thing.. before eu interfere anything.. make sure eu noe the whole story. from where is begins etc. kay?

Furthermore, i am who i am.. eu can't change me. if eu don't lyke me then fcuk off, leave...
it's my blog too.. if there's anything bothering... sorie. i had my own say in my own space. thanks..

P.S: im not bothered..

(added)

it's surprising that somehow, i actually felt okay about it. well maybe not ENTIRELY okay but at least, not upset-till-i-cant-sleep kinda thing. furthermore, i KNEW this was coming. i totally knew it. true, i felt like lashing out everything that's been bothering me about it but of course i can't do that. because to think of it, it's not a big deal. waiting and being patience for everything to go off and fine is not a big deal. i don't know what im feeling now but what the fuck right? i should be getting used to this already. spam? it always happen. people just couldn't be happy of other people's happiness. they just felt threaten somehow. hmmm. sometimes when i think about it, i DON'T mind and i DON'T care. i'm perfectly fine with the situation. totally optimistic.

baby, i swear; it's eu.....Y
8:45 PM

Monday, July 07, 2008

holiday's over now.. now BACK TO SCHOOL. without noticing, three weeks of holidays had passed. evenso, i really enjoyed myself. ~~although there's lots of ups and downs happening through out those days. what to do? can't expect everything to go our way rite? we could ONLY hope everything to goes fine.~~even i didn't had the chance to werk this holiday. being at home most of the tymes during holiday isn't that bad. haha. had fun too. *lalalal..

now back school, what more could i ever imagine? pathetic-ly today's the 1st. as expected its slightly hard to wake up. especially when 1st lesson stars at 8am. hehe. im just plainly so so so the tired through out the day.. gosh what's more with all the panda eye-bags. argh! my classmates have been saying about it. gosh! i really think i need to do some facial soon especially to remove those panda(s). haha. only manage to cleanse out my pores during the holiday. my skin are more smoother now without those clotting pores and not forgetting, feeling so much refresh. haha. blablabla.. enuf of my panda(s).. although im so so so the tired, luckily some of the facts i could remember. im not totally lost. haha. but it only happen at the last period. haha. oops! but at least i learnt something. thats what's important rite? haha. nothing much happened really today in school. so i guess it was fairly well at school. as usual. with friends, fun, laughter etc. haha. :) :) :)

(details of school among my lurvly friends. sorie. its only within my sweetest memories to be kept.)

had enuf talking about 1st day of school. lets see how i enjoy during my last weekend of school holiday.

last weekend of holiday...

saturday, babydear came over too my crib.

haha.. that day was as usual. fun, laughter etc.etc... eu noe, i noe enuf. haha.

(details.. shuts.. shh!!) *sorie peeps.

sunday, as planned the other day. going out with babydear. not forgetting those who tagged along too- babydear lil'bro (Syafiq), babydear cuz (Nana), my siblings (Harun & Haziq). we really had fun with them too rite babydear?? the more the marrier. haha. lurving those times. there's sure lots of fun and laughter. haha. :) meet up at AMK control station at 4pm. headed to AMK Hub to catch a movie, HANCOCK. bought the tix for the show at 6pm. while waiting for the tyme to pass had lunch cum dinner at Mac. then bring those kids to playground nearby but they were so shy to play together instead accompany Nana to the Popular to purchase some stuff. then,tyme for MOVIE.. the show was great. fatabulous. (i learn this word from babydear) haha. those kids enjoy their tyme too. they enjoyed the show so much. they could even reflect about it after watching. how cute. imagine that. but some scene just makes me & Nana go giddy. luckly i didn't vomit lyke her. see-ing her vomit makes me wanna vomit to. sorie lah sensitive. luckily babydear there to the rescue. thanks baby. after the movie, chill at NEBO cafe. went home around 8.45m. thanks for your plan and rescue once again babydear. we really did had lots of fun. :) heart eu. Thanks for Nana compliment too. hope we meet again. but still, i enjoy my tyme with eu babydear. hugs.

it's really nice to see those lil' ones happy.

lastly.. since my lil' sis (Salehah) have pun the trust on this to do this survey. i shall do this...
1. what do you hate about yourself? MY 'GIVE-IN' CHARACTER.. (bt i'll be stronger this tyme)
2. where would u go if someone sponsors u an air ticket? BALI.. (eu remember eu said this once to mie :) )
3. what's your favourite thing to do? SHOPPING..
4. Do u think money can buy happiness? NO. MONEY COULDN'T BUT EVERYTHING..
5. If u were given a chance to received something, what would it be? TRUE LOVED..
6. things you can't live without? AIR AND WATER..
7. what are u afraid to lose? SOMEONE REALLY SPECIAL.. (BABYDEAR)
8. if you win 1 million, what would u do? GIVE CHARITY & SAVE ONE-QUATER..
9. what do u dream of doing in the future? MAKING MEDICINE..
10. list out 3 good point the who gave this survey? SWEET, KIND, CHEERFUL..
11. what makes me happy? SEE-ING SOMEONE WHO I CARED IS HAPPY..
12. what type of person do u hate most? BUSTERED PEOPLE..
13. if u could hv a superpower what would it be? ABLE TO TELEPORT ONE PLACE TO ANOTHER...
14. which season do u like? SPRING..
15. what do u think is the most important thing in ur life? BEING LOVED..
16. if u have a bf, would u die wif him? NO. WILL TRESURE MYSELF & MOVE ON..
17. who was the last person who hugged u? BABYDEAR.. MWAH!
18. what is the one thing u want it badly now? BEING ABLE TO BE AT BABYDEAR SIDE..
19. whom are u close to? FITRI & HUDA...
20. favourite colour of ur world? WHITE..

baby, i swear; it's eu.....Y
10:00 PM

Thursday, July 03, 2008

im so missing eu...
hugging tight..

i guess im definitely being a good gurl this few days. till saturday. just being at home except tomorrow. going school for some cca meeting then home again. haha. didn't really mind about it. being at home isn't that bad afterall. there's still dearest mom and my beloved sibling to make my day. not forgetting those calls too which at least makes my mind at ease. just misses eu so much.. :) :) :)

furthermore, babydear will be in camp at school for 3 days from today. oh gosh! i'll SURE will be missing lots. just not meeting yesterday has already make me misses lots and insane. thanks to the night calls my misses are cured. even so, eu are still within mie. luckily tomorrow will be able to meet. since i'm going school too. hehe. even if its for a while but i guess its worth it. i just could not explain myself.. each and everytime we met, i felt so at ease. as if there's no worries. as if im flying lyke a bird freely. nothing on this little mind of mine. with those cheeky faces of yours. those smiles, those warmth, those jokes etc. haiz. im just left so speechless. i just couldn't wish of any better.

but when night came and we became apart. those thoughts will always be there. i simply couldn't explain myself. seeing those pictures, smell-ing of the perfume on the jacket etc. aah!! it really felt so near yet so far. haha. eu really meant alot to mie. hugs.

talking bout yesterday..

went shopping with my dearest mom. early morning already pampered with her by asking her to tie this lovely hair of mine. haha. its been quite some time since we last did that. haha. i end up to be lyke a 'goody-goody' lil' gurl with those hair tied up that way. haha. hearing that, makes babydear even more wanting to meet me. but unfortunately not. haha. just lurve making that feeling and how things reacted. haha. so the adorable. i wish i could just see the face. awwhh!!! supposingly, should buy my thing on that day but ended up buying mom things instead. not that i don't want. but the things there seems to be just the normal-normal thingy. haha. *picky mie. mom ended up buying two set of blouse. wonderful ones of coz' my choice... really had the mother-daughter bonding. im lurving the day with lots of jokes and laughter round and about.

i just love u mom.. hugs.

baby, i swear; it's eu.....Y
10:10 PM

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

woke up early morning and went to Jurong Polyclinic for my 2nd dose of Hep B. accompanied by bestie. it was suppose to make my day but eventually something pop out at the polyclinic itself. haiz. why-why-why?? these few days after everything, everywhere i went there's ~~hym.~~ thank GOD bestie there. if not, i just couldn't imagine what will happen there. gosh! i thought everythings settle and done. unfortunately not yet (i guess). gosh! i really need a PEACEFUL LYFE!. how am i going to recover all this if there's still pestering. thought eu have promise. haiz. but i noe, babydear will be always there for mie.. rite?? argh! let the gone by gone -lah. move on. i really had enuf. eu cause the pain then what? begging to gain something from the pain. wtf?! get ur own lyfe. luckily there's someone by my side going through all this things with mie step by step. if not, i guess im going to go insane. INSANE! the IMH will be calling mie soon.. argh! enuf said.

after poly, had REAL lunch at Jurong Point. really make me eat. felt so full after that. haha. since gotten to know that i've been skipping meals. aiayaya.. its really not on purpose. i just dont felt lyke eating. it just taste so tasteless whenever i have to eat at home. ive really no appetite. then before headed back to my place, bought some food for mom and bro. even bought me famous amos cookies to kept me eating during my hungry period if i've no mood to eat the real food lyke rice and etc. haha. how sweet.

thanks for everything. :) hugs.

baby, i swear; it's eu.....Y
9:45 PM