TIME YOU HEAR ABOUT MY STORY ♥
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
ATTENTION!! THE COMPUTER GAME THAT I'VE BEEN PUBLISHED ON THE PREVIOUS POST HAVE BEEN SAFELY SOLD. :) :)
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261208 (fri) - had long chat with my darling babe, Mazni. its just been so long since we had this. eversince we are having attachment, we seems to be kinda busy. talking to my babe, gf had been great. what to expect, those serious girls talk. not gossipping alrite. its the only time where we could just rant everything from the bottom of the heart and knowing what's been happening in each other lifes. what do they think about it and their own frank opinions. which sometimes, will make you realise and think and reflect. some maybe harsh while some maybe supportive. it just hurts to see the another darlings gfs hurt. as darling, we just wanted the best. but still, bottom line, it still up to the individual itself. no doubt. i have to admit, things for me have not been easy. she's always been there for me since all those secondary school days. she knows me well enuf other than my another buddy, Syafiq. upon those talks, it kept me thinking, kept me wondering. i know, bby have said, ive just been thinking too much. i know i shouldn't have coz' i should have faith lyke how he did. i do have faith bby, no doubt. but sometimes, we just need a little bit more of thinking so things will be better. its clear and we know it, we need each other as much as we do.
271208 (sat) - went a date with mybbyboy as planned. like finally we had to meet. im sure missing you bby. you surely could tell upon meeting me. :) *grin. we went to survey some stuff, but still not satisfied. then we headed town to watch TWILIGHT! (the movie thingy was really a last minute plan.) only bby knows how much i really wanted to watch it. rite? rite? you must really read the book now bby, i guarantee you, you shall have no regret. :) if anyone wanted to watch it again, no doubt you could just ask me along. im really willing to watch it for the 2nd, third, umpteen times. now, im so in love with edward. oh edward, how i wish you are real. bby will be frustrated if he reads this. sorry bby. but no worry bby, you are still my number ONE. no doubts.
281208 (sun) - have to wake up early to attend my ' kakak sedare- KAK WATI's ' wedding. so, i'll get a chance to meet all my beloved cuzzies. miss them, especially those cute-cute lil' ones. what's more, im missing my favourite cuzzie, Syazzy. its really been so long since we catch up things. hehee.
last but not least, thank god, the wedding went smoothly. hoping their marriage will last long. Amin.
LASTLY NOT FORGETTING,
Without realising, 1 months pass. it may be short to them.. & to some, it may just be another day. But, it was never just another day since 30 November 2008. You made me open up my eyes. & you're the one that is responsible for what i feel till now. Even i have to admit that there are sure lots of obstacles in-between that you and i have to face. Those challenges. But we still made it thru' coz' we have faith in ourselves. No matter rain or shine, your baby will be here for you. Come what may, we'll brace this through, baby love.
I love you,I love you & I love you so much!
' I say "I Love You", to remind you that you are,
the greatest thing in my life. & the greatest thing I will ever have. '
baby, i swear;
it's eu.....Y
11:45 PM
Thursday, December 25, 2008
As Word Cant describe...
My feeling been blocked
Has i sat in the corner stoned.
Staring in the air, let the word run out.
Staring in the air, let the word run out.
I am totally speechless, every minute, every second i think.
I am not sure what am i?
What is Left or What is Right?
Never knew somehow it come to this.
I just loosing myself.
Wondering...
Will i get out of this?
Will i escape this mind maze?
I guess, i'll just let it all pass out
Silently underneath me
Breathing yet hurting
Thanks to my bro, HUZ for helping me with the poem above
and not forgetting, hearing me out.
i'll get so emo-up upon writing it.
Only he knows. Thanks BRO.
baby, i swear;
it's eu.....Y
11:59 PM
Harlow EARTHLINGS!! MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!gosh! i sound like im the one celebrating christmas. but i dont, okay. i just love the party-party mood. and christmas is the purfect tyme for it. :) :) *dance-dance around* with those sales, those partying, those bonus pay. it just happen. so im just in the mood. maybe you readers should too alrite. heehee. *smile*
i know i should be out somewhere having fun with my loves ones and friends. but im not. even i got the urge deep in me when some of my guy friends insist of asking me out. thanks but no thanks. i know you guys misses me. 'perasan lak aku ni' but im not going to fling around. we could meet but just not this time. i'll be very tempted to be very pempered(manje) *laalaa* just in the mood lah. i know you guys will lyke it. but not this time, kay..
instead im out with mummy to bugis. thanks mummy for saving me. :) :) since we already got cash, we went shopping. shop-shop-shop till we drop. once again, ladies day out. together with my lil' sis of coz'. the guys stays home. heehee. after doing all those shopping, without realising, its already 7pm. daddy called and asked us to meet him with the guys at Jurong Point. we'll be having dinner outside. yea-yea, daddy's treat. :) :) we ate at FIG & OLIVE. since now the restaurant is nearby, we dont need to travel so far. *laalaa.* dinner is just superb. :) thanksdaddy.
' these feelings won't go away,
they've been knocking me sideways,
they've been knocking me out lately,
its just so hard to explain. '
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HOT STUFF!! I'LL BE SELLING OF MY COMPUTER GAME
ANYONE INTERESTED OF BUYING..
JUST LEAVE YOUR TAG AT MY TAGBOARD, THANKS.
DETAILS:-
TITLE OF THE GAME IS: GRAND THEFT AUTO IV
IT HAS 2 DISC, BOTH NO SCRATCHES. NO SCRATCHES!!
STILL BRAND NEW, NOT USED / PLAYED YET
WILL BE SELLING COMPLETELY WITH BOX, CD COVER, MANUAL, GAME MAP
SELLING AT $50.
baby, i swear;
it's eu.....Y
11:30 PM
oh well, CHRISTMAS EVE here!! party-party, *dancing around*
i update this as soon as ive reached home. after i've wash up and all. check time: 00.15am.
unfortunately, my company didnt celebrate, so there's no half day given. sigh! so i guess i'll be partying only after work. that's if there's anyone who PM me. (hoping someone will) Gosh! i'm just not in the mood to work. lyke what most people would say, 'it's the month where people should be in the mood of partying than working.' i strongly agree to that. :) oh how i wish too, but unfortunately, thanks to attachment im stuck here working. *sigh!* somehow, i just felt regret not going oversea for my attachment. *double sigh!* -_-
initially, there's no plan of partying. even deep in me, i wanted it so so the much. but thanks to the last minute PM as i'm on the way home. thanks to Pika and Lyn for saving my life. heehee. :) :) the gfs asked whether i wanna tagged them along. lyke of coz' or else its not fun staying home during eve. they set their timing and we should actually meet at 8.30pm at vivo. initially they are already out with some of their own friends. but they have to go bck early. i rushed home and quickly have my shower plus getting ready. by the tyme, its alraedy 8pm. gosh! im gonna be late. but thanks to AMIR, im not. since he is tagging along too, he text me if i wanted to go with him. then i just say alrite. furthermore, he's staying around the corner too. :) thanks to that, i've got another 5-10mins of grace. heehee. maceh AMIR. :) :) he fetched and way we went to meet the gfs. whoo. its predictable, always when the gfs is out, he will usually tagged along. 'cam sugardaddy katekn.' must take good care of the girls. *grin*
(some pictures to enjoy)
my cam-whore- thanks to lyn.
she takes pictures of others but not herself. hehe.
pika gf :)
the guy who saves my life from being late :)
AND KNOW WHAT??!! daddy gotten his pay plus bonus. *grin-eyebrown rise* heehee. ring any bells. thats means can go shopping liao!! *smile* 'daddy i want this, i want that' heehee. 'oh anak manje aku sorang ni.-daddy said' im just gonna lurve this. oops. know what's the another good thing?? daddy gives me and my bro 100bucks each. *laalaa- dancing around* but clever mummy to cut my 20bucks of pocket money. but its okie, at least i've still got 50buck. thats means it makes a total of 150bucks. whoo. 'jadi orang kaya skejap ni' heehe. irasayangmummydaddybangat-bangat. mwah!
PS: bby have to work today. so he didnt get the chance to njoy lots. but he's going home late coz' of Christmas dinner from his company. so lucky rite? but even he's working, he knows where im going and when im back. i do text him. missing you bby.
baby, i swear;
it's eu.....Y
12:30 AM
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
ignore the previous entry. its just nothing, it only what i feel. so randomlyke bby said, ive been thinking so much when i shouldnt have. oh bby, it just come. forgive me. especially when you are working till so late that day till you are so tired and forget to sms that you ond work and have reach home. i just get so worried. so uneasy. i wasnt tinking clearly, questions and questions just brushes through my mind. sorry bby, i know i shouldnt have. :(
i know i should update this on yesterday(monday). but im just so worn-out. As soon as i got home, i lie on the bed and there i go, soundly asleep. heehee. all the way till morning when im going to work. imagine. 'tdo tak ingat dunia.' never been lyke this but oh well.. *grin.
oh, bby came over that particular day (monday) and sure have great day. thanks for the company bby. appreciate it lots. at least, we have a chance to meet. cant expect the day to be better.
PS: we shall meet up again on saturday,kay. hopefully everything goes as plan. :) :)
baby, i swear;
it's eu.....Y
9:12 PM
Monday, December 22, 2008
" I woke up this morning with this feeling inside me, that i can't explain.
Like a weight that i've been carrying, has been carried away."
Words just cannot describe.
How i feel, inside me.
This feeling..
I sense something is not right.
& it never is if things turns out this way.
Why oh why am i still feeling these?
in a mind of uncertainty & confusion
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
" No matter what i feel, what im thinking,
I wanted you to know, my heart remains with you. "
baby, i swear;
it's eu.....Y
11:30 PM
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Meet up my darlink lil' sis, Salehah to return he VCD back last friday after attachment. its been so long since IA that we met. initial plan was to have dinner together but unfortunately we have to cancel it since her father is fetching her back. oh well maybe next tyme. but what touches me the most was she bought for me prezzie and a good luck card. how sweet of her. sorry your big sis' here didnt bought you any. i didnt expect it either. thanks lots. it really means alot. you are such a great lil' sis too. you know how to find me if you need me rite? i'll be there. no prob. :) :)
My weekend was sure SPLENDID! :) :) :) Especially with darling mummy and lil' sis around. It's ONLY the girls' day out, while the boys' stays home. heehee. Yesterday, went for window-shopping, trying and surveying things before daddy got his pay this coming Christmas, then we shall hunt daddy for it. heehee. That's mummy and my initial plan. See how it goes then. probably, we will stick to it. heehee. Told bby im going out with mummy and he asked me to enjoy my day. and I surely did. :) Upon hearing to my story, mybby said im bad. ‘nakal dier eh?’ heehe. Oh well bby, im daddy's girl and mummy is his beloved wife. So there's no harm. Daddy loves us. Right daddy? He won't mind to share parts of his bonus on us. hehee. Like what we always said, 'sharing is caring.' *grin.. Its only once every year there's lots of sales going on in town. *cheeky smile. We surely did lots of surveying, from clothes to shoes to watches.. hahaa. How mummy and I wish 'ka-ching' will drop from the sky this instant. *(as if its going to happen) furthermore, im loving mummy sense of fashion now. She did improve lots. Im loving her taste now then all those previous years. Oops. Sorry mummy. :) but I bet this time mummy would spend some cash on me. *lalaa. That's the good thing of becoming mummy and daddy's girl :) :)
Today, I guess im just being home. Being a good-good girl to my bby. That’s what you said when you are off to work, right? No worries bby. I’ll be home. Doing facial mask with mummy. Pampering ourselves I suppose. Hehee. Knowing that I’ll be his good girl, he cheekily said he would be naughty at work. Humph! Bby, NO EH! You know it.. He just loves to see how I react to it. With my tone, reaction and expression. Then you will silently laugh. Right bby?? Bby, oh bby, you are sure soo cuute. Know what! I'm missing you more everyday, bby. JUST YOU! NO DOUBT!
'You're the kind of guy who makes me throw my head back, and let out a real laugh,
because when I'm with you,
nothing else matters.'
last but not least,
IM MISSING THESE FOLKS!! :)
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(further update:
oh boy, i guess, last minute plan pop out. wont be staying home. daddy and mummy bringing the whole family out. i surely wont want to miss it. *[hint: daddy tagging along.] hehee. you get it?? ring any bells. hehee. gtg. gonna get ready. :)
baby, i swear;
it's eu.....Y
2:30 PM
Friday, December 19, 2008
its already past 12midnite and im still widely awake. my heart is not at ease, im thinking, im wondering, im worried. worried coz' my bby seems not to be home yet. 'dah lepak, maner nk ingat alik,kan?' haish. oh bby, where can you basically be? please call me. -_- everytime when i try to go to sleep but i simply cant. im waking up every minute just to check onto my phone to see if you are home. *tu name nye sayangkn? tdo-tdo ayam tau. risau babe. nyeweku lom pulang. furthermore, im missing him badly. we will meet up real soon,kay bby. then, i will just hug you tight not letting you go..
KNOW WHAT!! bby just PM me online. thats means he's home. yea. jump-jump. co-incidently, everytime when im writing about him here, he will be there. haish, cam tahu je.. rindu jugak eh?:P
'if you love someone, you must love him/her to the fullest,
even at times meaning you have to sacrifice yourself
and you know,its for the ONLY best.'
Regarding IA, i know ive been bragging about it lately. but that doesnt mean its like so the bad. like i said, BEN and me is surely being treated like one prince and a princess. easy job, relaxing. which is an advantage but yet boring. no challenge, really. BUT i really mean it especially during break time. i know BEN will laugh his ass out if he reads this. oops. in case some of you who dont know, for my company, lunch and tea break is provided. so far they have been feeding us very well. [menu: lunch-chicken rice, ayam penyet, fried noodles, briyani, mix-rice etc. tea-break- 'chenteng, bubble-tea, Macdonalds, KFC, ice kacang etc.] imagine all that. goodness. 'i guess my partner and i might just gain weight after the 4 months attachment. while my bby is cutting down weight, im gaining. OH NO-NO-NO.. MUST MAINTAIN. heehee.
not forgetting..
CONGRETS TO MY LIL' GOD-BRO UPON HIS RESULTS!!
(**claps**)
cheh! i told you. you can do it. top student. 5 pointer seh. im proud of you. now you believe me. all the hardwork you put in throughout the months pays off now, rite?
who benefits? YOU. im just motivating. thats what a god-sis should do rite?heehee.
now, its tyme. pick the right choice and all the best.
YOU KNOW HOW TO FIND ME :) :)
(if you need me)
baby, i swear;
it's eu.....Y
12:50 AM
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Frankly, IA has been really a drag now. my partner, BEN and myself has been cursing and swearing. we are really counting down the days back to school. im just tired. both are tired. really tired. eventhough everyday its an easy job, (i dont deny that, which is an advantage) but hack, its simply bored me and partner to death. no challenge. not interesting. plus the atmosphere is so the quiet. weird but true. the only thing that produce sound is the chinese local radio station other than break tyme of coz'. till im already sick of it. surroundings are also spoken in chinese. as if im one chinese gurl there. even in the first place they misunderstood me. *ptff!smack head. lyke wthell, luckily i understand but cant respond back. heehe. but im sure lurving coz' im being treated lyke a princess there while BEN has to do most of the job. oh well. heehee. BEN will hit and laugh if he reads this. back to werk, it lyke only been a month and 'so-called' we know everything. nothing new. what the local staff are doing, we, students are doing the same things too now. not surprising, now, those lazy staff could take advantage. those stuff that they think they are lazy/tired doing, they could pass it to us. they shows their little signs,kay. and oh hell NO! fat hope, wait long-long if you want to pass it to me. i've my ways to avoid it. gonna keep myself busy.
** Only a month pass, three more months to go... -_-
im waiting for my bby to call me for tonight. yea, he's busy werking. on the way home. sigh! tomorrow, training. double sigh! i barely could do anything else, coz' all i think is him. him-him-him.. mybby :/ and yes, only god knows how much i miss my bby! he's not far away. but far away from me, still. didnt had the chance to meet him yet. i just miss you bby. all i need is just you. i can never ask for more, but just being there in your arms. i guess i just have to wait till saturday, accompaning you for your rugby game. :) :)i could still remember how cute we are last night on phone. imagine, it's just coming to the end of the year and we are already planning for valentine. ooouhh. i just cant wait bby. you are just full of surprises. even at tymes i find you irritating, but thats what i lurve about you most. **sayasayangbangatkamu.
"I swear to you, on everything I am,
And I dedicate to you all that I have,
And I promise you that I'll stand right by your side,
Forever and always until the day I die."
baby, i swear;
it's eu.....Y
11:30 PM
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
It's at the most unexpected time,
when you think of someone you have been thinking for so long.
So, where are you?
i dare say i miss you, bby...
" It's hard to explain the feelings inside me, sometimes.
At times, i may want to push you far far away. & at one time, i may want to pull you back close to me..
My feelings may submerge at one point of time, just like how a submarine sink below the surface of water..
But, one thing's for sure.. I've always love you.
Now, here, today,tomorrow or even yesterday.
You're the one inside my heart, & that is never a lie "
here, i am, nearly morning. still widely awake. still deciding on what to blog. still determine on blogging. coz' there's just so many things, so many emotions and worst, im out of words. nothing would really compare the fact how im feeling right now. i guess, im just missing mybby lots.. (:
guess, today begins the holiday break for my bby. (what! he's having holiday while im NOT!) then that means our schadule will be even more tight than before. bby will be busy with werk and training while i have my own attachment. ** ptff! tyming clash. hate when it comes to that. but we will find time alrite bby. just you and me. heehee. i guess my hp will be so quiet now, especially without those msges from you bby during your working hours. ): coz' now, the only person who ring my hp is just you bby. 'see ppl, now i got no tyme to flirt with others. ive got him!! thats you bby. ONLY YOU. :)' bby will be proud when he reads this. *grin. but no worries, your pictures will stil make me smile thru' out the day. right now, bby just back home. he texted. awh!! so im no longer worried. but definately still missing you. hugs.
im counting down with BEN for the days left of attachment.
dont ask why. just dont. -_-
3mths and 5days left.. hurry..
baby, i swear;
it's eu.....Y
12:40 AM
Sunday, December 14, 2008
as long we have faith, nothing will go wrongAs i was listening to songs on the phone. Flashbacks kept playing in my mind. Of the times yesterdays. Those times! If only i could turn back time. We could live that place up always! I miss that place & you, bby. I do, so much. And as i turn back time in my mind. I ONLY came across you. you who seems to make me flip, at just the sight of you. you who make butterflies in my stomach. And the you, being that just that special person. Who can make my smile widens. REMEMBER? The first time you held my hand? The first time you kiss & hug me? The very first time we go out together. And the times where time just stop, for both of us. im totally missing you.
baby, i swear;
it's eu.....Y
10:00 PM
Saturday, December 13, 2008
When I see you, the world stops.It stops and all that exists for me is you and my eyes staring at you.
There's nothing else. No noise, no other people, no thoughts or worries,
no yesterday, no tomorrow. The world just stops,
and it is a beautiful place, and there is only you.
Just you, and my eyes staring at you.
i was beginning to see, though, that the unknown wasn't always the greatest thing to fear. the people who know you the best can be riskier, because the words they say and the things they think have the potential to be not only scary, but true, as well.
i'll never regret you, or say i wish that i'd never met you. because once upon a time, no matter how long ago that was, you were exactly what i needed.
because at times like this, i just realized the most important thing. the one that i cannot live without, the one that keeps me breathing. the one that never fails to keep me going with life, with love. and the answer is simple, it's you.
[don't forget to smile my favourite smile... ily. <3]
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tonight will be the night. the day will just be filled with you and me. nothing else. i shall remember it with a smile. thanks alot baby. thanks for everything. everything was just priceless. being with you is priceless. ily lots baby. those cuddlings, those smiles, those laughter, those kisses... and to everything, i'm pretty emotional now, i know..
** (as this is publish, i am with you(; )
baby, i swear;
it's eu.....Y
11:59 PM
im updating as soon im done diving. talking about it, diving been great today. normal- lah i can say. see-ing corals, fishes etc.. what more to expect rite?? its basically just the same. futhermore, this tyme round is more of the research thingy. to solve a certain problem for this competition thingy that we, divers are into. prizes if we won are super amazing. haahaa. only different, this time round; buddy; BEN didnt tagged us along. thanks to that *toot*. i shall seal his name for now. everything must be according to his own tyme, pace schadule. as if we dont have ours. ptff! i really have enuf. i cant nag no more. coz' im not in the mood. my mood are much reserved for later. im totally looking forward for later. as *will update more later. just a brief of everyting for today.
baby, i swear;
it's eu.....Y
2:30 PM
Thursday, December 11, 2008
bby is such a sweetheart. come out with a plan for something really-really nice this weekend. (: other that the diving of course. nah, not interested. *ptff! he should be done with his training now while im writting this. oh bby, i swear i miss you lots seh. hurry-hurry home, im waiting for you. haahaa. (gosh! my phone just rang, its him! *smiley-smiley) 'cam tahu je tau org rindu dier. sal dier pun rindu org. hahaa' :Pseriously, ive been like sleeping real late at night. really late. i slept at 11pm (maybe to you guys, it may sounds early, but read on..) and later woke up at 1am/2am in the weehours just for my bby. coz' he is back... yeah, my sayang home. (: i'll wake up automatically whenever he called. 'hati tak tenang oi walaupun sebenarnye tgh tdo'. tido-tido ayam namernye. sayang tau (: dont get it wrong bby- obviously no, im NOT complaining. instead im LURVING it. love those wee hours chats with you. the songs that you sang for me every night. i just love your voice,b. the words every night saying how badly you say you want me. hug me, kiss me. everything.. romantic kn? i sacrifice my sleep while you sacrifice your tiredness after your training/ werking hours. hahaa. then we chats as if there is like no tomorrow. till 3.00-4.30 in the morning. then the next day, both are lyke shot dead. although we didnt show it when we meet the next day after my attachment and before your training/werk if there's a chance, if not, we find chance. :P every morning, i will call you to wake you up for school while i need to go for my attachment. i can just go *laalaa. lost of words. nothing compares to what im feeling now.
i just cant wait for the 13th, bby.
it's not about the diving but the moments of just being with you and me.
the day that will be full of surprises. (:
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MyBro,Huz has been inspiring me to write a poetry like himself. so i thought, why not. for once. heehee. 'effort tau.'
[i know it sounds weird but it just a try out... -_-]
i used to be alone, staring at other kinds of me that flew high
they proudly open their wings and continue going higher before me
while i just stood still at where i landed
surrounding the metal wiring with darkness and fear
wondering if there's hope left for me
day pass, month pass, years passes by
i've always had have the intension to be just like the others
but didnt have the enough courage, enough strength
too fearful that i would fall again
but to be like others, i didnt let myself down
i tried, tried hard and believe
believe that everyone is predestinated with their own fate
until i found you
now im free flying high in the air
to a destine destination towards the lights and sounds
just as the GREAT ONES has always promised.
baby, i swear;
it's eu.....Y
10:50 PM
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
oh bby, if anything happens and we are left with only and that only solution. which both of us realy cross our fingers, hopefully not. we both accept it. both of us know we treasure our friendship more. even at Salehah survey, i prefer lover than friendship, but in this case its different. only bby and i know it. even we know they are only our surroundings and should be supporting us instead. but for now, things are just so complex. not for a boy/gurl would destroy it. but we know things will be better on a later date. just not now. seriously though i know you have ask, though im willing to wait. honestly. but i dont want to wait forever, yknow. one fine day, we'll both wake up and realise that. you and i are the voice in our head that makes us happy. make us smile. whenever we meet, there's always butterflies in the stomach. then we'll wonder where on Earth we as individual would be. i'll be waiting for you at the first place where we met, the first time where you have guts to meet me alone and say what you have kept wanting to say to me- at the corner of the street bby. i'll wait bby. im willing. make me wait for a few months, even till you end NS im fine with it. but just not forever and just dont treat me like a rag doll. just dont leave me lost in our so called fantasy. i still need you as much as you need me. you know it. you know you could always treat me lyke your bby. but only when we are slacking with the rest, i guess not. it just need to remains that way, for now. only now...
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he is in school and going for his rugby training later after that, while im just at home for today. the company im in gives me an extra off day since yesterday was Hari Raya Haji. supposingly should be following my parents off to Johor. but likely stuck here, since last minute find out that my bro passport has been expired. thanks bro. now, its like a childcare centre while my parents are the only one off lyke they went for honeymoon. hahaa.
the Sentosa people have been calling me twice now. once last week and this week. they ask about the position that ive apply. oh well, now thanks to attachment, ive to decline that. thay say they are willing to accept after ive end attachment. that will be lyke 3-4months later? will they ever remember? hahaa. oh well. at least i know where to go if i need to work. i know i need it. but its just not this time. (:
talking about him, he just called me. hahaa. lyke he knows im talking about him. oh bby. hehe (: (:
baby, i swear;
it's eu.....Y
4:30 PM
Monday, December 08, 2008
hari raye haji was okay. dad and mom individually successfully did their 'korban' this year. amin. although i felt as if its lyke any normal days. not as great as aidilfitri but still it is a good meet-ups with the cousins. haahaa. (: (:
i guess after today, the menu for this week will just be mutton. hahaa *grin*
pity my
baby, i swear;
it's eu.....Y
10:50 PM
Sunday, December 07, 2008
today, hari raya haji eve. send some delights to my grandma place after all those cooking. smell those sambal goreng, ayam masak merah, sambal sotong, rendang, lauk lemak etc.. erm,erm.delicious...
then, meeting mysuperhero is such a bless. we really crack ourselves how to move ourselves thru' the situation. but so far, im glad, we've been supportive with each other. we really want things to go for the ONLY BEST. we'll go thru this journey together baby.
things are really getting more confusing. mysuperhero and i really wonders, why are we stuck in this situation. we know we need each other but the surrounding seems not to support us. the friends, the cliques.. its just too complicated. only to our close ones would know. maybe fate are just testing us. maybe..
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Yknow, sometimes i wish i could proudly say i belong to someone.
and friends surrounding with be supportive and accept that feelings cant be force
while mine has been given to him.
and when we walk together, we make their heads turn.
oh how i wish.
dreams are certainly better than reality.
baby, i swear;
it's eu.....Y
12:43 AM
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
today is like one of the worst day in my life. everything is like so messed up and fucked up that i broke down at one point of time. its like fate is trying to play around with me yknow. things will definately be getting even more complex after that. for now, we only have one option. but we are still thinking of better. both of us have the same worst fears and nightmares. i know how scary and difficult it is. i wont let it happen and if it happen, i'll be prepared. Trust me baby, i feel exactly the same way as you.
sometimes i wonder am i ever gonna be good enuf for anyone?
at times, i feel pathetic and useless when i cant be there for my loved ones.
regardless of whoever; Girlfriends, Boyfriends or just anyone.
if it hurts you,
it hurts her more to see you this way.
baby, i swear;
it's eu.....Y
3:30 AM
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
there's always a reasons why God made us crossed each other's path. and one of the reasons is for me to love you with everything that i am. i need you as much as you need me. let's stay strong for each other. Trust me baby, i feel the same way too.
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meeting mysuperhero after my werking attachment was such a bless. everything is such a bless with him. you just show me a sense of comfort that i always wanted. imy.
oh wells, nothing can be compared to what I actually feel right now. i cant suppress this feeling for you. I leave everything to God, to surprise me. Am I hoping or I am hoping? *sighs*
baby, i swear;
it's eu.....Y
8:45 PM
Monday, December 01, 2008
my dreams was once shattered when i was killed few months ago. one moment in life that i feel like giving up but with support from family and friends, i got up and start to live my life for myself but still, i didnt dare to dream. fear of my dreams being shattered again. but somehow, till you came, you change everything..
i start to dream again..
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everything was basically all unplanned. all sudden. all co-incidence. meeting eu, mybbycumsuperhero was just fabulous. those chats, those smiles, those hugs was just priceless. having you as a friend being there really means alot to me. till now, only what's within eu that eu have kept secrets for long was revealed. those words which makes me hard to believe, but the way eu repeat everything, making me feel its all true. in fact; IT IS TRUE! but things were so complex now. let this just be between us for now. (:
baby, i swear;
it's eu.....Y
12:00 AM
